Lea DeLaria in Out magazine, September 2018
IT’S MUCH EASIER TO SAY I’M QUEER THAN TO LIST OUT MY ENTIRE FUCKING IDENTITY
You can still want queerplatonic relationships and you can still prefer one type of queerplatonic partner over another.
Aroaces can experience a non-romantic, non-sexual attraction to men, women, neither, both, all of the above.
There are aroaces who identify as lesbians because they are female/female aligning wish to share their life with women/feminine aligning individuals.
There are aroaces who identify as pan because they wish to share their life with someone regardless of gender.
There are aroaces who don’t identify as anything else because they don’t feel the need to.
There are aroaces that use the term aroace as shorthand for aro-acespec, arospect-ace, aroacespect/aspect, demisexual/demiromantic, quoiromantic/quoisexual, grayace/grayaro/grayaroace, alterous, quasiromantic/quasisexual, etc etc etc.
There’s a reason it’s called aspec and not a-that’s it it’s this nothing else.
Because It’s a wide range of individuals who don’t, don’t usually, almost never, sometimes, sometimes under specific circumstances, or simply don’t know the difference with some experience of sexual and or romantic attraction.
And just because someone falls on the asexual or aromantic spectrum, doesn’t mean they don’t experience other types of attraction. Platonic, queerplatonic, alterous, sensual, intellectual, emotional, aesthetic attractions are all real and sometimes need to be better understood by those who doesn’t experience the main stream sexual or romantic attraction.
So yes, you can be a gay aroace, or a bi aroace, a pan aroace, you can be a lesbian aroace or a poly aroace. Because it’s a complicated world out there and there’s nothing simple about attraction.