okay this is definitely spam considering I got this on my 2nd blog that has no followers. But also considering that this has been sent to at least 5 blogs I follow plus now my own I’m going to repost & add to my previous response to this topic here:
This is a really rude and invasive question to ask someone. Some people are not willing or are uncomfortable talking about their past/history. It’s also none of your business. They do not owe you this information.
NOT TO MENTION that “gold star” is a really really HORRIBLE term. It implies that lesbians who haven’t been with/had sex with men are somehow better than those who have. There are lesbians who don’t/didn’t know they were lesbian when they slept with a man. There are lesbians who have previously ID’d as bi/pan/etc. There are lesbians who have been raped by a man. There are lesbians who dated trans men before they came out and/or transitioned.
There are SO MANY more reasons that someone who ID’s as lesbian may have slept with a man and that is 100% okay. Having not slept with a man does not make you superior in any way shape or form. “Gold star” doesn’t matter. You don’t deserve some bs “gold star” medal to make you feel like you’re a better lesbian than those who have been with men. Everyone’s journey to realizing and/or coming to terms with their sexuality is different. There is no right or wrong or good or bad way to be a lesbian.
However asking this shitty question DOES make you out to be a bad person. This question has NO REASON to be asked by anyone ever it just makes you seem insensitive/unkowledgeable about what lesbians go through.
I got an anonymous version of this same question in my inbox today and legit saw red. I DESPISE the term “gold star lesbian” and anyone who actually feels that this term is a feather in their cap or makes them superior to the rest of us wlw.
This post from a year ago says everything that I want to say, but couldn’t find the words for. Oh, when a writer fails at wording. I would really like to see this term eradicated from use ever again.
If anyone EVER asks me this question, they will be summarily blocked on all social media. I don’t need your judgmental and “holier-than-thou” against anyone you don’t like. Because let’s face it, that’s exactly what this question is about: trying to eradicate “Otherness” from what you are. That’s gross and counterproductive.